The Love Languages of Couples in Business
The Five Love Languages theory has been around since 1992. But every so often it gets revisited.
In fact,
we discussed this topic in an episode of the Couples Inc Podcast.
Let’s review the original concept and then discuss OUR version for business owners.
The Five Love Languages
The concept is this: sometimes couples might express love to each other but neither feels it because they are, in essence, not speaking the same language.
People give and receive love differently.
The five ways couples might like to give or receive love:
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch
Here are some examples of when these languages differ:
You feel loved when you hear words of affirmation (e.g. you look pretty today) but your partner expresses love by acts of service (filling up your gas tank).
Your spouse expresses love through gift giving and showers you with presents—but your love language is quality time.
In the above scenarios, you both end up a little frustrated and unfulfilled simply because you are not speaking the same love language.
For a healthy relationship, you need to identify how you each express and receive love. Knowing this can help you better understand your significant other and why there might be a disconnect.
It’s a fascinating concept and definitely reinforces the need for honesty and good communication in a relationship.
We revisited the topic in a another episode where we developed The Four Work Languages.
In this blog, we’ll dive even deeper into that theory.
The Four Work Languages
Note: we almost called it Labor Languages but that sounds like the obscenities a woman might shout out during childbirth, so went with Work.
Just as with love, there are different ways couples express themselves regarding what they prioritize and value at work.
It’s not an exact correlation to love languages because you aren’t technically giving these things to your partner; but understanding what someone’s “work” language is can help you both avoid conflict or frustration.
Hopefully, figuring out your partner’s work language will help you better understand the “why” behind some of their work habits.
The four things that someone might value most at work:
Money
Ideas
Relationships
Let’s delve more deeply into each.
As you review these types of work languages, remember, as is the case with Love Languages, it’s not an all-or-nothing proposition. It’s more like a pie chart.
TIME
If TIME is your primary work language, like me, you put a strong emphasis on properly managing timelines.
The chart to the left shows how my work languages compare…with a strong emphasis on TIME.
It’s not that other things like quality, creativity or profit aren’t important; it’s that your mind is wired to focus on meeting deadlines.
I think I developed this time-centered mindset while working in radio and TV. If you missed a deadline in that world, your story didn’t get on the air.
(I’m interviewing Mister Rogers in the photo. SO FUN!!)
People in this category are great at prioritizing tasks and are constantly trying to hone their time management and productivity skills. You get a rush when you can mark something complete on your to do list.
“It’s easy to get so caught up in a deadline that you rush and make mistakes. Take a breath or a beat before hitting that send button or closing a project. ”
MONEY
If this is your primary work language, you love when you can make the numbers balance and enjoy developing and managing budgets.
Numbers are your jam.
(Glenn tries. See…he even has TWO pencils - one behind each ear - to show he is serious about numbers.)
You see the income your business makes as a mark of your success and a clear representation of the kind of quality products or services you provide customers. This also makes you an incredible steward of client dollars.
Again, these aren’t all-or-nothing concepts and EVERY business person cares about the bottom line. But you instinctively know the most profitable approach, can quickly estimate projects almost to the cent and will be the first to raise alarm bells if something will go over budget. Spreadsheets don’t scare you and you love how numbers are logical and certain.
Remember to always use your power for good and don’t let a short-term gain negatively impact your long-term business investment.
IDEAS
You might be more like Glenn.
His chart, to the right, shows how his work languages compare.
Ideas are his happy place and his focus, followed closely by relationships.
In fact, one of my biggest frustrations is when we are in a meeting with a client and he gets what I call “idea face’ and basically tunes out. It’s not that he doesn’t care about our client or is trying to be rude. Actually, quite the opposite. He’s already brainstorming an idea to solve an issue they brought up or concept an ad that we need to design. Creativity is a top priority for him and those who are in this category.
But this category is NOT just for people in fields like advertising or marketing.
You might be a liquor store owner who likes to host themed wine tastings or a landscaper who loves designing the perfect outdoor living space or a business coach who loves developing digital products.
Ideas drive you.
“I often write down a few key words when an idea hits in the middle of a meeting. It’s my way of staying present in the meeting and revisiting the idea afterward.”
RELATIONSHIPS
This category isn’t about your relationship with each other as couplepreneurs but rather how much you focus on other people.
You value the relationships you have cultivated and connections you have made.
(People in this category are often good at public speaking as well.)
If this is your primary work language, you’ll often be found networking or “working the room.” You also have a keen ability to “read” people and have strong interpersonal communication skills. You know that people like to work with people and building trust with your clients/customers, partners, and vendors is important to your company’s success.
This can also translate into efforts to improve employee relationships. My stepdaughter and frequent podcast guest, Catherine Buercklin, falls into this category. She loves helping businesses create a thriving company culture and building strong teams.
Making Your Work Language Work For You
Understanding each other’s work language can help you identify your best roles in your small business, avoid common areas of conflict and work better together.
